Years ago, I went to a networking event and the speaker’s topic was none other than networking.
At the beginning of her talk, she asked the group of about 75 women “how many of you enjoy networking?” - I was one of FIVE that raised their hand.
While I really do like to network, I also know (and coach) many women who don’t.
Making the effort to attend events, chatting it up with strangers - in person, in breakout rooms or in a chat box - and speaking confidently about what you do can be awkward at best and torturous at worst.
When we dread something, we tend to avoid it. By avoiding networking, we lose out on one of the best ways to build business, get a new job or advance our career.
While we’re lucky we now have the technology (and experience) to connect virtually in addition to doing business face-to-face, “putting yourself out there” still might not be your cup of tea.
If networking isn’t your thing, here are a few tips to make it easier.
Choose your groups carefully
Whether you’re networking informally or investing in a paid membership, be sure to attend a meeting or two before you commit.
Some groups have formal structures and guidelines while others are more relaxed and open. Some require monthly or annual fees (leads groups, for example) and others are free (like many Meetup groups).
What matters more than the format are the people in the group - and whether they can help your business or career. If you’re looking for a new job in your field or you want to meet mentors or centers of influence, look for industry-specific organizations. If you want clients, vendors or partnerships outside your profession, focus on groups that represent your target market or those that can support your needs.
Finally, it’s important to feel a fit with the leader and the other members. The more comfortable you are with the group and how it’s run, the more likely you’ll be open up and share.
Become a regular
Once you’ve found a group (or groups) that work for you, be sure to attend meetings consistently. After your initial introduction phase, it’s much easier to show up when you can mix and mingle with friends and strangers alike.
The biggest challenge I see is when people join too many groups or attend sporadically. My rule of thumb is to only join groups that you know you can commit to - because relationships and growth opportunities develop over time.
Years ago, I had a client that belonged to so many groups that she considered hiring someone to attend for her and take notes. As we worked together, she narrowed her memberships down from ten to three - focusing on those that gave the best return on her investment, her time and her connection potential. Her regular presence in fewer groups really paid off - in referrals, speaking and even leadership opportunities that could never materialize when she was spreading herself so thin.
Let yourself be nervous
Many women who are great at building and nurturing relationships feel much less comfortable connecting professionally.
I’ve had clients and colleagues share stories of freezing up during their introduction, ducking out of meetings (or leaving Zooms) because they feel so awkward or judging themselves for not being calm, funny or “smart enough” in group settings.
Even though I enjoy networking and I’ve done it for years, my heart still pounds when it’s my turn to speak!
It’s important to give yourself the chance (and many chances) to get used to engaging authentically…and it’s completely normal to be nervous. Time and practice will help you share who you are, what you do and what you’re looking for - even with complete strangers - with confidence. Just don’t give up :).
Are we connected on social media?
If we’re not already friends, following or linked on social, let’s connect. Every week, I post tips, resources, quotes and words of wisdom about success, money, mindset, productivity, balance, women’s empowerment and more on multiple platforms. I’d love to see what you’re up to and/or learn from you as well - plus, it’s a great way for us to “network” online. You can find me on my Facebook profile and Facebook page, my LinkedIn or my Instagram (or all of the above). Hope to see you on social soon!